I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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