Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
