Christians are straight up FREAKS
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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