STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
