i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
