I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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