I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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