4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
