people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I look better un-naked...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
