found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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