my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
