Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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