we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
