Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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