Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
