does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so explain again why im purple
no
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
