thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
