people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
