she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
