where am i from again
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
