you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
