some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
