Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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