Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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