why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
