There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
