After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
