I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
