Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
