Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
