Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why did my mother make you get naked?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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