and she was petting her beer can
two words: eviction party
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
