I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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