it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize