One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
