my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
