I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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