I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
