You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Even my vagina gasped.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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