I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
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