Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
