I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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