can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
