Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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