just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
