What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
