Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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