Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we have pet lesbian snakes
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
