I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
