after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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